Absense Makes...The Thumb Grow Bigger

I now post so infrequently that it’s unlikely anybody checks this blog regularly, but if you do, I’m very sorry. In my defense, I haven’t been able to hold a pen accurately for two weeks. My thumb was horribly infected and inflamed, and after antibiotics failed, the doctor injected anesthetic into it with a pocket bayonet, and then physically removed the infection with her scalpel. Until a few days ago, my cartoons looked like this:



If you think it looks exactly the same as usual, please don't tell me.

I also spent the entire week picking stuff up with just my index and middle fingers, which was awesome because I felt like a T-Rex, and not so awesome because I couldn't lift anything heavier than my tictacs.

I attempted to used my left hand, which up until this point in my life had just three purposes:

1) to club things very lightly.
2) to shake somebody's hand when my right hand was busy holding something bulky.
3) to type the letters a,s,d, and f over and over again in a random and continuous stream.

This shall forever be the week when I realized that I cannot brush my teeth or shave lefty. The whole experience reminded me of a nursery rhyme my dad used to read me when I was tiny:

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said 'What a good boy am I!’

Unfortunately, my thumb only looked like there was a plumb stuck on it.

I have a backlog of prospective posts now, so more stuff to follow, starting Monday, when I wProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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l have access to a scanner again. Possible topics include US foreign policy in the Middle East, James Franco, Mr. Scudder, and Ms. Mhlaba.