Friday 10 September 2010

PB&J, All Day, Everyday; T.I.A.

So after a relatively short flight of 11hours, I’m in South Africa! In fact, I was just in time to it clearing up from the World Cup. The airport floor was tiled in red, yellow, and green, and huge Michael Essien’s and Didier Drogba’s stared down at me from the walls. It was a good thing they did, because my brain didn’t really get where I was until the airport told me.

Since then, my biblically energetic schoolmates have been keen to get the message across. Not that the men and women of the Old Testament had anywhere near as much life in them as Africa’s teenagers. In any case, the three gap year students (Gaciru, Julia, and I) have been taught a new phrase: T.I.A., which stands for “This is Africa”. Apparently Shakira didn’t even make that part of the song up. Also, she used it poorly.

T.I.A. is not a celebration of battle-choosing and getting back in the saddle; it’s phrase to indicate that in Africa, people just deal. And quite often it’s in an impromptu and/or implausible way. Here are some appropriate times to use T.I.A.:


“Today, the mall bus wasn’t starting, so the Head of Residential Life brought a large, green car battery out of his office to stick in the vehicle. TIA”

“Today, a troupe of builders in matching mustard-coloured cargos cut in front of me in the line at Pick n’ Pay. I realized it was too late to say anything. TIA”


“Today, Gaciru wanted juice at dinner. She was told, loudly, that IN AFRICA, WE MAKE OUR OWN JUICE! TIA”


So we haven’t actually had to make our own juice (we just drink water at dinner), but we have eaten a huge quantity of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which are all the African Leadership Academy provides in between meals. The PB&J diet is even more prominent in Gaciru’s life, because she’s a vegetarian. That’s why she made up our new life motto: “PB&J, all day, everyday”. Amen to that. On the plus side, peanut paste is actually now used as a malnutrition supplement , so if there’s one thing to eat, that’s probably it.

And finally, a Senegalese joke that I learned! It fits a pattern familiar to Westerners, but it doesn’t have any priests or Irishmen.

“So there are four presidents in a plane; they’re from the US, France, Guinea, and Senegal. The conversation lulls, so the US president opens a window (he knows little of airplane safety), and starts throwing dollars out of it. “Why are you doing that??” ask the other three. “We have too many dollars in the US of A,” he answers. So the French president starts throwing euros out of the window. “We have too many euros in France,” he says. Then the Guinean president takes a long hard think, and starts throwing bananas out. “Why are you doing that?” asks the French president. “We have too many bananas in Guinea!” he says. Finally the Senegalese president racks his brains, and after a while, stands up, picks up the Guinean president, and hauls him out the window. “What’d you do that for?!” cries the US president. “We have too many Guineans in Senegal.”

Apparently, Senegal is full of Guineans, and all they do is sell bananas.

6 comments:

  1. first to comment!!! this is ponchi, on farrah's comp

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  2. =) are you staying there for long? at least long enough to receive mail? What's your address?!?!?

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  3. anyways, i heard a joke like that, only it was a us president throwing out the prez of mexico...
    this blog is awesome, i love the humor ;)

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  4. lol dude your blog is awesome.

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  5. Liam it is astonishing how familiar this sounds in some ways...maybe we need a new acronym, TIM (This Is Matinicus.) Exactly the same things happen only it's lobstermen named Ames cutting the line on oil-boat day. We also need our own food pyramid. I love this blog.

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